| i never write in my lj anymore |
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| 01:02am 12/04/2007 |
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mood:  contemplative
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my new job is awesome, i work with some of the most interesting and talented people i have ever met before. things are going well, and my clientele is building up from nothing. i felt like a shitty hairdresser for working at hairplus, so i moved on (which i was planning to anyway.) i feel like i got fucked at hollywood vampires so i cant go back there, not with what happened.
i read this book called 'rock and a hard place' and it really rekindled the love that i felt was fading from my everyday actions and words. its so important to love the people around you- i cant stress it enough. if i die tonight or tomorrow or 3 days from now i want to be sure that everyone knows that i love them and that i wouldnt be where or who i am without them. i lost my grandma a few months ago and all it did was make me miss my grandpa more... is that weird?
the day i was helping my aunt and mom clean out my grandmas belongings i found his work ID from union carbide and lost it. i cried uncontrolably for about 20 minutes. i wish he was still around, even though i know he wouldnt approve of my appearance in any way. but my insides are good.
i swear.
i finally realized that the people who dont like me, dont know me. and that if they dont want to know me, they can go fuck themselves. i will do anything for my friends, you need it, i got it (or what i can give to the best of my ablilities). i no longer try to prove myself to anyone.
there is a wonderful guy in my life right now, whether it works out or not, im better for knowing him.
so i guess that was an update? |
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(stirring up the elements under the surface) |
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| weird |
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| 01:06am 15/02/2007 |
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i havent written in my lj in probably a year or so, mainly because i have become a more introverted person with no desire for people to understand me, and also i get bored with it easily.... just like now.... |
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(stirring up the elements under the surface) |
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| and it wasnt what it was. |
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| 10:54am 17/11/2004 |
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mood:  hopeful music: mrah!
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i dont know why im updating like i am lately. maybe its because i need to vent a little now and then?
i dont even vent anymore unless its to lindsay.
there was a weird character at malaprops lastnight that made me bang my head against the table and scream with laughter because he was staring at us and it made me so uncomforatable that i could fucking shriek and i did.
waffle house, are YOUOUOOU COMING TO THE MOVIEEEEEE...I only work weekends WEDNESDAYS.
i have to write a paper on the enviroment
or civil union
or some shit, because thats all everything is. why cant we all just deal with what we are given.
ill never be a man.
grove park inn pools and hammocks, my butt crack is there for all to seeeeeee!
PS i have to work tonight 4-11 so SOMEONE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go buy the 3784937892 dollar candelight tour tickets and come talk to me while i sell candy thats been in the case or upstairs for months.
ITS FUCKING DISGUSTING
but ill be gone soon, and youll never have to see my fucked fuckeeeeeeing face again |
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(1 thought | stirring up the elements under the surface) |
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| your mom |
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| 09:59pm 10/02/2004 |
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mood:  crappy
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You came from the future. You have wisdom beyond
your age and are always thinking ahead. A
favorite poem of yours is "Autumn" by
Emily Dickinson. You have strenth and
independence. Intelligence and creativity are
your strong points and you always try your
best. Your heart shines through hatred and
always discovers truth. Often you are found
looking ahead and wondering what put us on this
Earth. Your heart is in the right place, but
don't let your wisdom shine through fun. Your
worrying can often prevent you from finding
friends, but your nice and caring spirit makes
up for it. Wisdom is your soul.
Where did you come from when you were born?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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(stirring up the elements under the surface) |
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| me, rebelious?! |
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| 02:26pm 07/02/2004 |
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mood: crappy music: two towers movie
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You're a natural born trouble-maker. You hate
authority and do everything you can to get
around the law, or in some cases, break it.
Naturally stubborn, you hardly ever sway once a
decision is made. Your nature is fiery and
courageous, and always out-going. You love
attention and usually have kinky fetishes
you're not afraid to explore. People either
love you or hate you.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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(2 thoughts | stirring up the elements under the surface) |
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| 11:22pm 25/01/2004 |
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mood:  crushed
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| Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:: | alkaline trio | | Are you female or male:: | queen of pain | | Describe yourself:: | trouble breathing | | How do some people feel about you:: | we've had enough | | How do you feel about yourself:: | i lied my face off | | Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:: | exploding boy | | Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:: | for your lungs only | | Describe where you want to be:: | 100 stories | | Describe what you want to be:: | radio | | Describe how you live:: | if we never go inside | | Describe how you love:: | fatally yours | | Share a few words of wisdom:: | i'm dying tomorrow |
Bands // Song Titles brought to you by BZOINK! |
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(4 thoughts | stirring up the elements under the surface) |
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| i love egypt!! |
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| 11:15pm 20/01/2004 |
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mood:  confused music: oldies
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You're Egypt!
Curator of ancient mystical secrets, your life on the surface is fairly
typical these days. Though you are in denial about more things than most people.
Nevertheless, you're trying to convince people that you're safe despite your more
volatile and unstable times that seem to be behind you. You like cats a whole lot.
You'd probably really appreciate The Blue
Pyramid.
Take
the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid
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(stirring up the elements under the surface) |
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| wehehe |
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| 02:52pm 12/01/2004 |
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first day at ab-tech it was good. my classes are awesome and my writing teacher hates the government, how lucky am i ?
straylight run
amazing amazing.
it only takes a second for everything to change. |
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(stirring up the elements under the surface) |
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| 12:42pm 10/01/2004 |
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mood:  blah
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i wrote out an entry... but it got lost.
so eff this
today im going to go out by myself
and read a little
write a little
drink a latte perhaps
and thats all really |
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(stirring up the elements under the surface) |
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| the postal service rocks you. |
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| 08:34pm 06/01/2004 |
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mood:  naughty
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i'll be the grapes fermented, bottled and
served with the table set in my finest suit
like a perfect gentleman.
i'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the
ancient brick where you will sit and
contemplate your day.
i'll be the waterwings that save you if you
start drowning in an open tab when your
judgement's on the brink.
i'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
albums back as your lying there drifting off
to sleep.
i'll be the platform shoes and undo what
heredity's done to you: you won't have to
strain to look into my eyes.
i'll be your winter coat buttoned and zipped
straight to the throat with the collar up so
you won't catch cold.
i want to take you far away from the cynics in this
town and kiss you on the mouth.
we'll cut our bodies free from the tethers of
this scene, start a brand new colony
where everything will change, we'll give
ourselves new names (identities erased.)
the sun will heat the ground under our bare
feet in this brand new colony.
everything will change... |
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(2 thoughts | stirring up the elements under the surface) |
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ushtu's journal
curious
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